Men go to the baths because of a need to connect with another person. (Read Making The Connection) However, some men go for an entirely different reason. They go because they want to be a voyeur. Where else can you see naked bodies walking around 24-7 in the winter? Seeing all that eye candy is just another added perk to bathhouse life. The voyeur aspect kicks in when two men get together for sex – all in front of a live audience.
In a bathhouse, a customer can get a room or a locker. Men who decide to purchase a locker do so because it is cheaper. But that comes at a cost – no privacy. If you meet a cute guy, and both of you have no room, where do you go to have sex? In that situation, both men have to find a discreet place. Some popular places to hook up are the showers, sauna, steam room, porn lounge, whirlpool, or even a corner in the hallways (Read Quickies for a full description). Even if you find a discreet place to hook up, couples find themselves stalked. Not by other men wanting to join in (well, sometimes). But by men who want to watch the sexual encounter – LIVE!
There is one guy that I’ve met at the baths who tells me he is only there to watch. He is bi-sexual and has no desire to do anything with anyone. But he loves to watch other guys get it on. He stakes out specific areas that are regular spots for ‘quickie’ sex, rotating his stakeouts every 30 minutes. With a half-hour in the whirlpool, then a half-hour in the steam room, and so on. He jacks off, waiting for two guys to enter and start having sex. Or if he spots a couple getting it on, he will go right up to them and watch while stroking his dick.
But when is it okay to watch, and when is it okay not to watch? Many guys who spot a sexual encounter walk up to the couple and start watching. Surprisingly some men don’t mind all these eyes on them. Some even thrive on being an exhibitionist. But most gay men don’t like being a live sex show for others. So this is my etiquette rule on ‘watching.’ If I am in the whirlpool and two guys suddenly get in and start making out, I can stay and watch as I get there first. If they had a problem with me being there, they wouldn’t have gotten in the whirlpool in the first place. But if the couple were making out in the whirlpool BEFORE I had arrived, I’d turn on my heels and walk away. You don’t know if they are comfortable or not with people watching. Now, if there is a crowd watching, then, by all means, you can join the crowd and watch as well. Let’s face it; two guys having sex with full hard-ons is a live sex show.
One friend of mine at the baths has no problems being an exhibitionist. He thrives on that as he loves to have shower sex in plain view for all to see. They soap each other up, sliding their wet and soapy bodies off each other. My friend might get some head while they stroke each other off. He does love taking showers with a guy and has no problem with other people seeing him.
My friend is not alone. The bathhouse I go to has a ‘sling’ area (though some baths feature rooms you can rent that have a sling). Guys looking to bottom will get up in the sling and lie in it, legs wide apart for all to see. If someone wants to top, they do the deed. Eventually, a crowd of four or five people will begin to watch. Stroking their dicks while seeing the person in the sling get pounded. All the while, the other guys are waiting for their turn to top. Or just happy to observe this free anal exhibition. Again, some men like to watch guys get pounded. I remember this cute blond I saw at the baths a few years ago. He avoided everyone around him. But when the sling room started to get busy, he was the first one there. All he did was watch and stroke his dick. By the end of the first hour, you could tell his arm was tired. Although he was still watching and stroking, his dick was limp.
However, being a voyeur isn’t all about observing others. It’s listening as well, being an eavesdropper. When I go to the baths, I always ensure I get a room in the middle of the hallway. So it is between two rooms. The walls are paper-thin, so you can hear much of what goes on next door. Hopefully, the music being played over the loud-speaker is not that loud. Hearing someone else have sex in the other room is as much a turn-on as watching porn. I am ecstatic when I notice that a drop-dead gorgeous guy has the room next to me. That means something interesting will happen. I will lie on my bed listening to all the grunts, moans, and excitement next door. The other great thing is listening to the afterglow – when two men talk and get to know one another after hot sex.
I have eavesdropped on hundreds of conversations with many different combinations of men. An older man and a young hustler, a married man and a single gay man, a man in an open relationship and a man looking for love, two single men looking for love, a younger man on the prowl for an older man, and the list can go on. It is fascinating to eavesdrop on an afterglow conversation. It is just like those reality TV shows. You are eavesdropping on real people’s conversations.
But I am so nosy. I poke around when someone departs from the baths but leaves their room door open. I’m always fascinated by the identity of these anonymous men that go to the baths. I will see phone numbers scribbled on the backs of receipts, discarded food, empty bottles of Viagra, condoms, business cards, lube wrappers, and so on. One time someone left their leather jacket! Not to worry, I don’t go through garbage with my hands. I shake it around to see what is there. Sometimes I’ll see condoms with cum and blood. Other times just discarded lube wrappers but no condom wrappers. Afterward, I always wash my hands.
One crazy thing I do is offer my room to others. If I notice two people looking for an area to have sex in and want privacy, I will offer them my room – no strings attached. Surprisingly, most couples decline my offer. But some don’t. After the couple finishes, I go into my room and feel the ambiance: the rumpled sheets, the used condoms in the garbage, and the cum on the floor. I imagine and try to feel the sex in that room.
I know – I need a life. I do all this voyeur stuff because I am not getting any sex myself. The only way I am getting sex is through other people’s experiences. But then again, I have to occupy my time at the baths.