One thing synonymous with a bathhouse is quickie sex on an hourly basis. My personal feeling? If you are at a Bathhouse and notice a cute guy, and he sees you – then why not go to a room and enjoy each other’s time? However, many guys have told me they prefer quickies because they are just that. Quick and to the point. There is no intimacy, getting to know the other person, or emotional bonding. Guys would rather save those feelings of pure lovemaking, with someone they genuinely like.
That is one of the reasons why many guys do not purchase a room when they visit the baths. Getting a room is subconsciously preparing for the possibility of sharing quality time with another person. By getting a locker, you are categorizing the sex as accessible with little hassle. No names are known, no contact information gets exchanged, and you don’t have to be polite. Each of you views the other person as an object; for the pure enjoyment of each other’s bodies. Getting a locker also gives you an “out.” Guys are forced to hook up in the open without a room. Because of that, it is easier to walk away from a sexual interlude that goes nowhere. If the same thing happens with two guys in a room, it is harder to kick someone out without being blunt or rude. That is how the baths operate: quick and easy sex.
Many men have told me that they even refrain from kissing other guys. Oral sex – no problem; Anal – pass the lube, But kissing – NO WAY! You would think it would be the other way around. I have always equated oral sex as a personal, intimate bonding experience between two people who genuinely care for one another. It’s the opportunity to let go and give yourself to the other person. But I have to get my head out of the heterosexual mindset. In the gay world, it is the other way around. In the gay world, kissing is equivalent to displaying intimate affection – between two guys who genuinely love each other. Being blown or laid, you can get that anywhere. Actual, physical, close contact, guys want to save that for a future boyfriend.
However, let us face reality. Because finding a partner or boyfriend is complex, many guys remain single for years between relationships. How many gay couples do you know that have lasted over a year? Therefore, quickie sex becomes a way to escape from a never-ending quest to find Mr. Right. That’s why baths are the place to fulfill that sexual craving for a quickie. You save so much time at the baths than trolling a hookup app. The amount of time it takes for you to scroll through a list of guys available online. It equals the same time arriving at the baths, getting laid, and going back home.
Many guys are just looking for a fast blowjob or anal. They do not seem to care where it takes place as long as it is quick and to the point. I remember this one businessman who arrived all dressed to the nines. He took his clothes off, topped someone in their room, showered, dressed, and left. All in 20 minutes! You would think that when a guy enters the baths with six hours to spare, he will spend all six hours with a guy he has just met. But again, it is that intimacy issue. Men do not want to get close to a guy unless something develops. Gay men want to get off until the next time. That is what is so great about the baths. Sex is accessible and easy; you can cut right to the chase. It is common to see men have three to five quickies in an hour! Or be out of the baths in ten minutes flat. Alas, you know the saying; variety is the spice of life. Having sex out in the open is bound to attract a crowd. But if you see two men going at it publicly,
1. Can you stay and watch?
2. Can you join them?
Just what is the etiquette?
Etiquette To Watch And Join In
What is the protocol to observe? How do you handle it? If I am in the sauna or steam room, and two guys suddenly come in and start making out, I can stay and watch. I got there first, and they would not have come in if they had a problem with me being there. However, if the couple had arrived in the sauna or steam room before me, and started making out. I would stay away. You do not know if they are comfortable or not with people watching. Most times, men do not like others watching them have sex. If a couple feels too many eyes watching, they will leave to find a private area.
Unfortunately, some guys at the baths will stalk a couple trying to have a quickie. These men will follow the couple from room to room, wanting to “watch.” That is poor Bathhouse Etiquette. However, some couples are pure exhibitionists, having no problem with an audience. Therefore, if a crowd watches two guys going at it, you can join the group to stay and watch. Let’s face it; it is a live sex show with full hard-ons. How often do you see that – porn movies notwithstanding.
But could you join in and make it a threesome instead of watching? It does happen that other men will join in – making it a threesome or even a foursome. But what is the etiquette for joining in? It depends on the situation. If you see two guys getting it on, wait for a signal from them that you can participate. Winks, a nod, or even a hand wave will give you an indication. They are not interested or need a third party if you see none. You might get pushed away if you attempt to join this orgy without a sign. Either gently or very forcefully. That is embarrassing, so wait for the signals. If you do not care about being shot down, go for it. But be aware you might get physically shoved away, as a sign to back off. Again, you cannot take this rejection personally; that is how the baths are.
Now that you know the etiquette for observing and joining an orgy. Let’s examine where these quickies can occur in a bathhouse: The wet area (such as the sauna, steam, whirlpool & shower), the porn lounge, and finally, the orgy room.
The Wet Area
It’s an area where men eventually converge during their travels inside a bathhouse. This section usually has showers, a whirlpool, a sauna or steam room, a sink and mirrors, and a toilet. Sometimes, the wet area’s traffic is wall-to-wall men, as cruising and looking for that next hookup is at its most feverish pitch. Eventually, many guys cruising a bathhouse’s hallways will wind up in the sauna or steam room.
Sauna or Steam Room
Quickie encounters between two guys in the sauna will happen one of two ways. The two guys wind up there by fate. Or one of the guys follows the other guy into the sauna. When the two guys sit in the sauna together, eye contact gets established to see any interest.
If interest seems to be there, one of the guys will start to stroke to a full erection. If the other guy is uninterested, he will leave. But if he stays, the next step is touching each other’s hard-ons. Finally, they suck each other off. These quickies in a sauna usually last ten to fifteen minutes. Because of the heat inside the sauna, fresh air is necessary to breathe – so these sauna quickies usually only last ten to fifteen minutes. Couples must leave the steam to continue their liaison elsewhere in the baths. But some guys have incredible staying power, going on for over an hour in the heat!
Now a quickie in a whirlpool is a situation in itself. I have a friend named Mike who restricts all his sexual encounters to the pool. Like many guys, Mike visits the Bathhouse strictly for relaxation. I don’t think he cares if he gets off, as Mike spends almost all his time in the whirlpool. But what if a cute guy dips into the pool? Mike will make the first move. First, he positions himself so he is opposite or near the guy. Then Mike “accidentally” brushes his leg against the other guy. Mike knows the other guy is uninterested if the guy does not respond or moves away. But if the guy returns the “accidental brush” with his own feet, then Mike starts to reel him in. First, by playing footsies with the other guy, and getting his foot high enough to massage the guy’s genitals. These two guys will soon feel each other up (no kissing) with some oral and simulating anal – all within a 15-minute encounter in the whirlpool. Most likely, an audience will gather to observe this whirlpool encounter. Because of the heat, the guy will leave the whirlpool and walk away. Neither man has ejaculated. Mike usually stays in the whirlpool, relaxing and enjoying the waves. Mike is satisfied for the time being – until the next cute guy enters the whirlpool.
The shower area at the baths is popular for quickie sex. Like the sauna area, guys cruise other guys while taking a shower. The first guy will start soaping up his dick to a full erection, hoping to get the other person’s attention. The other guy will either ignore the apparent cruising or walk away (showing no interest). Some guys bypass soaping up their dick and be more direct. Reaching out to touch the other guy’s cock. If the other guy is uninterested, he will say, “No thanks.” But if the other guy is interested, he will reach out and return the favor. Soon the two guys begin caressing and soaping each other, sliding their wet soapy bodies together. Soon one of the guys will get on his knees and start sucking off the other guy. Both showerheads run full blast, with steaming hot water falling on both men.
Guys hooking up in the wet area happen more often than you think. The problem couples face is how open the wet area is. There is no privacy, so naturally, couples leave the wet area to escape the stares and crowds. Unfortunately, if neither man has a room, they have one of three choices. First, one of the guys can upgrade their locker to a room. Second, they can both get dressed and ask, “Your place or mine?” Third, they can find a more discreet place in the Bathhouse, usually the porn lounge or the orgy room. Both of those rooms are where most quickies typically take place.
The porn lounge is sort of like the sauna. It is the one room where I have seen the wildest action. Over the years, I have seen my share of rimming, oral, threesomes, and foursomes in the porn lounge. The significant difference between the sauna and the porn lounge is that you can see Gay Porn images on-screen. While at the same time, I see men stroking themselves to ejaculation while watching Gay Porn. The porn lounge is the one area of the baths that elicits the quickest sex. Like the sauna, if two guys find each other hot while stroking themselves to full erections, they will go for it. They kiss, suck, and rim ass with fully erect cocks – all in front of an audience. Sometimes a couple might feel uncomfortable with so many people watching them. So they either put a chair in front of them (as if that would help). Or they leave to find a dark corner in a hallway. Or an empty stall in the bathroom.
One time I walked into the porn lounge, and to my amazement, two guys were fucking each other – BAREBACK! The positions that went on are as follows; Guy A was sitting, and Guy B was sitting on him, pumping up and down. After a few minutes, Guy A grabbed Guy B lifted him, positioned him on all fours (doggy style), and started to pump him again, thrusting his cock in and out. After another few minutes, they changed positions; Guy B was lying on his back, with Guy A continuing to pump his cock in and out. After another few minutes, Guy B got up, leaned against the wall, and had Guy A pump him from that position. After that, they seemed tired and stopped. Neither man came, and neither man wore condoms. They chit-chatted for a bit, with guy A saying he could go for hours without ejaculating. Guy B thanked him and went on his merry way.
The last place you can get quickie sex in a bathhouse is the darkroom (or the orgy room). This room also serves couples looking for privacy (when both parties only have a locker).
Many couples love to get it on openly in the orgy room, having sex on a bench or in slings. They enjoy crowds of guys watching, with the possibility of having others join in the sex. These are the guys who like to be voyeurs.
When you walk into the darkroom, pitch-blackness hits you. You can hardly make out what other guys are doing. So you have to wait for your eyes to adjust to the darkness. But once your eyes change, you see shadows and bodies moving, giving couples some privacy. You may try to join in, but be warned, you might be pushed away forcefully. So you stand there and watch others have sex in the darkness.
These rooms can feature everything from open booths (like a telephone booth so you can have privacy), multiple Glory Holes for group play, and other dark (or pitch-dark) spaces with some benches (in case two guys want to do anal).
Years ago, an episode of “Queer as Folk” showed off an orgy room inside a Bathhouse. When that episode hit the airwaves, I received dozens of requests from men – asking me to recommend a bathhouse in their city. The scenes featured dozens of men all having sex with one another, oblivious to who was watching. In my opinion, that scene is pure fiction. In the twenty-plus years that I have gone to the baths, I have never seen multiple orgies. I might have seen a foursome once or twice, but that was it. I say it is fiction because an orgy is supposed to be an unbridled passion of guys throwing caution to the wind, and going for it, no matter the other person’s appearance.
In theory, that is what an orgy should be. However, gay men have preferences. For an orgy to work, you must be attracted to everyone in the group. That doesn’t happen. One person might only find certain people attractive. At the same time, another is attracted only to this person. Soon instead of a big 20-person orgy, you have different groups of three or four going at it. You may hop from group to group, but it is consistently a tiny 20-person group. That is because all 20 people have to be attracted to all 20. Unless it is preplanned, having a 20-person orgy by fate is impossible.
With so many men available in a bathhouse for a 15-minute “quickie,” you might ask yourself, “Where are the men who like to cuddle?” Just between you and me, that is my favorite form of sex. Please wait for my next story when I prove the saying, Real Men Cuddle.