Real Men Cuddle
The gay baths are not known as a place for their niceties. Nor is it a place to find a boyfriend. It is a venue for quick and anonymous sex, so guys go to the baths. The more times they can have sex and get laid, the better. So don’t expect to find someone tender, loving, and compassionate.
That’s because a small minority of men at the baths will get up and walk out once the sex is over. Without even a word of acknowledgment to the guy he just had sex with. These men are already thinking about the next score. You might even run into this guy during your travels at the baths, even catching him getting it on with another guy. Remember, this is how the baths operate: quick and easy sex, so you cannot take it personally. For men who cruise for sex, you are not a person to them. You are an object, and you need to accept that basic fact. The baths may not be for you if you can’t handle that.
I advise everyone not to get up and rush out after the deed is done. Relax for a few minutes of cuddling. No matter how bad the sex was, I never threw men out of the room immediately afterward. Perhaps that is the overly sensitive side of me. But every guy who leaves someone’s room after the sex should feel okay about the hookup.
The good news is those actions are rare, as a small minority of men do this. I mean, these are gay men, after all. It is more common for a guy to at least bid farewell before exiting. But don’t expect any afterglow once the sex ceases. The only way post-sex conversation happens is if both of you make a connection of the mind. Then the other guy lingers around for a while – some chitchat, sharing of a cigarette, and even more touching before you go on your separate ways. But some guys look for something even better than basking in the afterglow of sex – cuddling.
Men looking to cuddle at the baths often hit on me because I am Asian. With our super-smooth bodies, the soft skin we Asians have is irresistible and the perfect quality cuddlers seek out. Sam is a perfect example of this type of person. From the outset, he looks tough. Leather jacket, flannel shirt, ripped jeans, black leather boots, and a goatee. You would think he must be into heavy S&M., But no, he likes the art of touching. Sam is a studier of Chinese massage, and his touch is out of this world. Guys scream in agony when Sam touches their delicate areas. His fingers barely touch the other person’s body as his hands gently go over his partner’s chest, arms, hands, legs, and especially the sides of their stomach area. That area gets to a guy’s sensitive spot. Sam would then re-explore certain parts of his partner’s body by giving them a full-body tongue bath with some oral thrown in along the way.
Cuddling is the closest one gets to body worshiping at the baths. It is rare, but it does happen. Meet Charlie, a 55-year-old investment banker who does not look over 50. He has kept up a strict exercise regimen, vitamins, and diet. When hooking up, Charlie is more than happy to do all the work – kissing, sucking, oral, and rimming. Those guys sometimes feel guilty about Charlie doing all the work and asking Charlie if there is anything he wants to do. Charlie always assures his partners that enjoying his lovemaking is more than enough.
I’ve had some touch and cuddling, and here is one technique I learned from a masseuse I used to know:
Ask your partner to lie on his stomach. Then take a towel and cover your partner’s back, ass, and part of his legs.
Massage your partner very hard using the towel as a barrier.
Take the end of the towel and slide it off your partner’s body ever so slowly.
It makes a man’s body tingle all over. Once the towel’s lifted off your partner’s body, place the towel back on your partner’s and repeat (minus the hard massage) twice or thrice.
It is hard to tell what some guys are into when you cruise them at the gay baths. Some may be into cuddling, while others are not. It is tough to weed out the cuddlers from the non-cuddlers. However, they do go to the baths, though it is hard to find them. But it is a crap shoot.
Most informative and enjoyable to read so many thoughts.
You really hit the nail on the head with many of your observations—I particularly enjoyed your entry about cuddlers—I have had my share of “quickies” over the years, but cuddling resonates with me and I really enjoy it when it happens.
You have an excellent and interesting website that’s well written, informative, insightful, and not without humor. I was surprised to read your comments about most gay white men not being attractive to Asian men. Strange. (Queer?). Thanks. I learned a lot by reading your entries.
Very well done. I really enjoyed your essays. I have many asian friends/fuck buddies, but am not a rice queen. Your insights were fascinating. One small error, ‘color’s’ (or leather) worn on the left side is ‘top/dominant’ and right side is ‘bottom/submissive’ I love to cuddle. Of course i’ve been trying to figure out the city you live in, would you be talking about the bay area? Do you get propositioned a lot from this site? /^\dans
No wonder you don’t get any action. You, and many Asians, are there to watch and be serviced.Get in the action or stop whining.
This is my first but not last visit. Nicely done. I was right there with you every moment. Satisfying lust is good but satisfying the need for warmth and honesty is better. I think I remember those moments better and they seem to bring a smile to my face more. I know it makes people wonder what I’m thinking about.
Enjoy your stories and although not very frequent user of saunas, I had a few interesting viewing (only) experiences, including multiple orgies in London, Rio and New York. Personally I don’t like the format of US saunas – too much meat at display, too coarse. I enjoy cuddling, but there I don’t see it.
So far enjoying reading your stories — I wish you would date the stories so I’d know when they were written…I assume they are recent since you refer to Queer As Folk on your home page…I will make more comments, but just saying hi for now.
I loved the way u have written about holding one’s stand of morality. That is really great. Thanks.