Quickies

Quickies

One thing synonymous with a bathhouse is quickie sex, which takes place on an hourly basis. You would think that gay men would want to spend as much time as possible enjoying sex. However, many guys have told me that they prefer quickies because they are exactly that: They are concise and direct. There is no intimacy, no getting to know the other person, or any type of emotional bonding. Guys would rather save those feelings of pure lovemaking for someone they genuinely like.

That is one of the reasons why many men do not purchase a room when they visit the baths. Getting a room means subconsciously preparing for the possibility of spending quality time with another person. By getting a locker, you are categorizing sex as frequent and easy, with little hassle. You exchange no contact information, don’t know each other’s names, and don’t need to show courtesy. You view each other as objects with the sole purpose of enjoying each other’s bodies. Getting a locker also gives you an “out.” Without a room, guys have no choice but to hook up openly. Because of that, it is easier to walk away from a sexual interlude that goes nowhere. If the same thing happens with two guys in a room, it is harder to kick someone out without being blunt or rude. That’s how the baths operate: they involve quick, straightforward sex.

Many men have told me that they even refrain from kissing other guys. Oral sex—no problem. Anal: pass the lube. But kissing? NO WAY! You would think it would be the other way around. I have always equated oral sex as a personal, intimate bonding experience between two people who genuinely care for one another. It’s the opportunity to let go and give yourself to the other person. However, I must remove myself from the heterosexual perspective. In the homosexual world, the situation is reversed. In the gay world, kissing is equivalent to displaying intimate affection—between two guys who genuinely love each other. Whether it’s oral or anal, you can experience it around the clock. Men want to save their actual, physical, close contact for a future boyfriend.

However, let us face reality. Because finding a partner or boyfriend is complex, many guys remain single for years between relationships. How many gay couples do you know that have lasted over a year? Therefore, quickie sex becomes a way to escape from that never-ending quest to find Mr. Right. That’s why baths are the perfect place to satisfy your sexual craving fast. You save so much time at the baths compared to trolling through a hookup app. Scrolling through an online list of available guys is equivalent to the time it takes to arrive at the baths, get laid, and then return home.

Many guys are just looking for a quick blowjob or anal. They don’t care about the location of the sex as long as it’s brief and direct. I recall a businessman who arrived immaculately dressed. He stripped off his clothes, went to someone’s room, took a shower, got dressed, and then left. This entire process took only 20 minutes! You would think that when a man enters the baths with six hours to spare, he will spend all six hours with a guy he’s just met. However, the issue lies in the intimacy factor. Men often avoid getting close to a guy unless there is a developing relationship. Gay men view the gay baths as a means to ejaculate until their next encounter. That is what ‘s so great about the baths. Sex is easily accessible and direct. It is common for guys to have three to five quickies in an hour! Men can spend as little as ten minutes at the gay baths. However, diversity is indeed the essence of life. Having sex out in the open is bound to attract a crowd. However, if you see two men going at it in public,

Can you stay and watch?
Can you join them?
Just what is the etiquette?

Here’s the etiquette to watch and join in.
What is the protocol to observe? How do you handle it? If I am in the sauna or steam room and two guys suddenly come in and start making out, I can stay and watch. I arrived first, so if they had a problem, they wouldn’t have come in. However, if the couple had entered the sauna or steam room before me and began engaging in sexual activities, I would refrain from entering and would stay away. You don’t know how comfortable they are with people watching. Most of the time, men find it uncomfortable when others watch them engage in sexual activity. If a couple feels like too many eyes are watching, they will leave to find a private area.

Regrettably, certain individuals at the baths will follow a couple who are attempting to have a quickie. These men will follow the couple from room to room, wanting to “watch.” That is poor bathhouse etiquette. However, some couples are pure exhibitionists, having no problem with an audience. Therefore, if a crowd watches two guys going at it, you can observe. Let’s face it: This is a live sex show, complete with full-on hard-ons. How often do you see that? Porn movies notwithstanding.

But could you join in and make it a threesome instead of watching? It does happen that other men will join in, making it a threesome or even a foursome. But what is the etiquette for joining in? It depends on the situation. If you see two guys getting it on, wait for a signal from them that you can participate. A wink, a nod, or even a hand wave will give you an indication. If you don’t see any of these signs, they may be uninterested in a third party. If you attempt to join in without a sign, you may face pushback. This can happen either gently or with great force. That is embarrassing, so wait for the signals. If you do not care about being shot down, go for it. However, be aware that physical pushing may serve as a warning to retreat. Again, you cannot take this rejection personally; that is how the baths are.

Now that you understand the proper etiquette for witnessing and participating in group sex, let’s explore the areas in a bathhouse where these intimate moments can take place: The wet area, which includes the sauna, steam, whirlpool, and shower; the porn lounge; and lastly, the orgy room are the areas where these quickies can transpire in a bathhouse.

The Wet Area
It’s an area where men eventually converge during their travels inside a bathhouse. This section usually has showers, a whirlpool, a sauna or steam room, a sink and mirrors, and a toilet. Men often congregate in the wet area, cruising and seeking their next sexual encounter. Eventually, many guys cruising a bathhouse’s hallways will wind up in the sauna or steam room.

Sauna or Steam Room
Quickie encounters between two guys in the sauna will happen one of two ways. By chance, two men end up there. Alternatively, one individual pursues the other into the sauna. As the two men sit together in the sauna, they establish eye contact to gauge any potential interest.

If there is interest, one of the men will start to stroke until he achieves a full erection. If the other guy is not interested, he will leave. But if he stays, the next step is to touch each other’s erections. Finally, they suck each other off. These quickies in a sauna usually last ten to fifteen minutes. Because of the heat inside the sauna, fresh air is necessary to breathe, so these sauna quickies don’t last long. Couples must leave the steam to continue their liaison elsewhere in the baths. But some guys have incredible staying power, going on for over an hour in the heat!

Whirlpool
A quickie in a whirlpool presents its own unique set of circumstances. I have a friend named Mike who visits the bathhouse strictly for relaxation. I don’t think he cares if he gets off, as Mike spends almost all his time in the pool. But what if a charming guy dips in? Mike will make the first move. First, he positions himself so he is opposite or near the guy. Then Mike “accidentally” brushes his leg against the other guy. If he does not respond or moves away, then Mike knows the other guy is uninterested. But if the guy returns the “accidental brush” with his own feet, then Mike starts to reel him in. Initially, Mike engages in footsies with the other man, raising his foot to a level where he can massage the other guy’s genitalia. These two guys will soon feel each other up with some oral and simulating anal—all within a 15-minute encounter in the whirlpool. Most likely, an audience will gather to observe this whirlpool encounter. Due to the intense heat, the man will likely exit the whirlpool and walk away. Neither man has ejaculated. Mike usually stays in the pool, relaxing and enjoying the waves. Mike is satisfied for the time being, until the next guy enters the whirlpool.

Shower Area
The baths’ shower areas are popular for quickie sex. Similar to the sauna area, guys enjoy cruising each other while taking a shower. In an effort to attract attention, guys will start off by soaping up their cock until achieving a full erection. Some men skip soaping up their dick in order to be more direct. Reaching out to touch the other guy’s cock is another tactic. If the other guy is uninterested, he will say, “No thanks,” and walk away. But if the other guy is interested, he will reciprocate. Soon the two guys begin caressing and soaping each other, sliding their wet, soapy bodies together. Soon, one of the guys will start sucking the other guy off. Both showerheads are still running full blast, with steaming hot water falling on both men.

Guys hook up in the wet area more often than you might think. Couples face a problem with how open the wet area is. There is no privacy, so naturally, couples leave the wet area to escape the stares and crowds. Unfortunately, if neither man has a room, they have one of three choices. First, one of the guys can exchange their locker for a room. Secondly, they can both change into new clothes and inquire, “Your place or mine?” Third, they can find a more discreet place in the bathhouse, usually the porn lounge or the orgy room. Both of those rooms are where most quickies typically take place.

Porn Lounge
The porn lounge is sort of like the sauna. It is the one room where I have seen the wildest action. Over the years, I have seen my share of rimming, oral, threesomes, and foursomes in the porn lounge. The main difference between the sauna and the porn lounge is that you can see gay porn images onscreen. Simultaneously, you can witness men stroking themselves to ejaculate as they watch gay porn. The porn lounge is the one area of the baths that elicits the quickest sex. Like in a sauna, if two guys find each other hot while stroking themselves to full erections, they will go for it. In front of an audience, they engage in kissing, suckling, and rimming each other with fully erect cocks. Oftentimes, having so many people watching them can make a couple feel uncomfortable. So they put a chair in front of them (as if that would help). Most times, a couple leaves to find a dark corner in a hallway or even an unoccupied restroom stall.

At one point, I entered the porn lounge and was taken aback by the sight of two men engaging in raw anal sex. The two men assumed the following positions: Guy A was sitting, and Guy B was sitting on him, pumping up and down. After a few minutes, Guy A grabbed Guy B, lifted him, positioned him on all fours (doggy style), and started to pump him again, thrusting his cock in and out. After another few minutes, they changed positions; Guy B was lying on his back, with Guy A continuing to pump his cock in and out. After another few minutes, Guy B got up, leaned against the wall, and had Guy A pump him out of that position. After that, they seemed worn out and stopped. Neither man came, nor were condoms used. They chitchatted for a bit, with Guy A saying he could go for hours without ejaculating. Guy B expressed his gratitude and continued his journey.

Dark Room
The last place you can get quickie sex in a bathhouse is the darkroom (or the orgy room). This room also serves couples looking for privacy (when both parties only have a locker).

Many couples enjoy having sex openly in a dark room, on a bench, or in slings. They relish having men stare at them while having sex. These are the guys who like to be voyeurs.

The darkness envelopes you as soon as you enter the darkroom. You can hardly make out what other guys are doing. So you have to wait for your eyes to adjust to the darkness. But once your eyes change, you see shadows and bodies moving, giving couples some privacy. Most times you stand there and watch others have sex in the darkness.

These rooms can feature everything from open booths (like a telephone booth so you can have privacy), multiple Glory Holes for group play, and other dark (or pitch-dark) spaces with some benches (in case two guys want to do anal).

Years ago, an episode of “Queer as Folk” showed an orgy room inside a bathhouse. When that episode hit the airwaves, I received dozens of requests from men asking me to recommend a bathhouse in their city. The scenes featured dozens of men all having sex with one another, oblivious to who was watching. In my opinion, that scene is pure fiction. In the twenty-plus years that I have gone to the baths, I have never seen multiple orgies. I might have seen a foursome once or twice, but that was it. I say it is fiction because group sex is supposed to be an unbridled passion where guys just go for it, regardless of the other person’s appearance.

In theory, that is what group sex should be. However, gay men have preferences. For group sex to be successful, everyone in the group must feel attracted to each other. That doesn’t happen. It is possible for one person to find only certain individuals attractive.

Simultaneously, someone else might find only one individual attractive. So instead of this big 20-person session, you have different groups of three or four going at it. You may switch between groups, but in reality, it is five separate groups rather than a single group of 20. For one big sex group to function, all 20 people must find each other attractive. It’s impossible to arrange a spontaneous 20-person sex session at the baths without prior planning. When group sex occurs in these dark rooms, it signifies a desperation for sexual activity that compels all participants to blindly pursue unknown individuals. However, if someone were to suddenly turn on the lights in a dark room during a 20-person group session, the session would immediately break up due to superficial bias.

With so many men available in a bathhouse for a 15-minute “quickie,” you might ask yourself, “Where are the men who like to cuddle?” That’s my favorite form of sex, just between you and me. Please stay tuned for my next story, where I will demonstrate the concept of Real Men Cuddle My second book, “Back To The Baths: More Gay Bathhouse Stories,” features this story.