Chubs and Chasers
Some gay men who go to the baths look for a specific type of guy that isn’t typically found in a bar, club, or even personals. Sometimes you must go to the baths to seek the man who fits your ideal type.
Case in point, Malcolm, who is newly out and very hot. He is blond, has blue eyes, broad shoulders, and is tall with a firm muscular body. A grade school teacher by day, and at night he searches for his ideal husband. I met him by chance one day at the baths, and we started a conversation. While chatting, I discovered his type – for him to have any remote interest in a guy, they must be big, as in 350 to 400 pounds! As we continued our conversation, several guys continually passed by us, giving Malcolm a nod, a stare, a brush against his body, and significant eye contact. But Malcolm was oblivious to the attention. When I pointed this out to Malcolm, he shrugged and said, “They are not big enough.” One of those guys was at least 200 pounds!
You might be scratching your head, asking yourself, why is Malcolm looking for big guys in a bathhouse? Well, think about it. The gay community is 99.9% superficial. That is factual no matter what part of the country. You are accepted or rejected as a person based on your overall appearance. In short, your looks determine your overall popularity. If you look like a supermodel, you have no problems with acceptance. Anything else, and you might as well be invisible. A line in the movie “Broken Hearts Club” sums it up perfectly; “This is a community filled with 10s, on the prowl for an 11. Unfortunately, I’m a 7. ” That is how a lot of Chubs feel. Going to a club or a bar, Chubs cannot help but feel invisible, like they don’t even exist. So a lot of Chubs do not go out at all. They have been hurt so many times by the constant rejection from the gay community. It has become so disheartening that many Chubs retreat further and further into their house. Why put up with that rejection night after night
But bathhouses are different. As I’ve written, the baths are the only gay environment where you can see a cross-section of the gay community. Every group is there, all interacting with each other. Every time I visit the baths, at least one or two Chubs walk the hallways. Although rejection is part of bathhouse culture, many Chubs feel safe in that atmosphere. If you get rejected, there are other things a Chub can do. Take a sauna, sit in the whirlpool, or watch porn. If you want to find a chub at the baths, head to the darkroom, where sex is anonymous! The darkroom is pitch dark, so you can’t see anything. Since the gay community is looks-obsessed and superficial, the darkroom is where chubs can feel on an equal level with everyone else by anonymously getting laid in total darkness. So if you are looking for a chub at the baths, the darkroom is a quick place to find them.
Bathhouses know Chubs is a regular part of Bathhouse culture. They have king-size towels, ready and available for any Chub that might drop by the baths. Guys who love Chubs know that most go to the baths for comfort. So these Chasers prowl, hoping to find a big guy. If unsuccessful, Chasers will go online. For instance, Malcolm scans profiles on sex websites looking for a Chub. If he finds one, he sends them a message, asking the Chub to come to his place. But many of these Chubs are wary, unsure if this is a prank. So Malcolm proposes the next best thing. Let’s meet at the baths. Over the years, I have seen Malcolm arrive at the baths with many different Chubs.
Malcolm is not an anomaly. I have seen other hot, good-looking guys searching for a Chub at the baths. Some of these guys are even good friends of Malcolm’s! They ignore everyone else but pounce when a 350-pound man hits the scene. I remember one time I was taking a shower, and this cute muscular blond guy came in and started to shower by himself. One brunette guy noticed the blond guy and immediately started to cruise him. The brunette stroked his erect dick, hoping to attract the blond guy. Suddenly, a 350-pound Chub walked into the shower area, and the Chub and the blond guy immediately started kissing and rubbing soap over each other’s bodies. It was evident that they were a couple. The brunette guy looked stunned for a split second. They then left the shower area, hoping to find someone else. As I said before, no matter how hot you are, everyone gets shot down at one time or another!
Another group that has no hesitation in being with a Chub is GAM (Gay Asian Men). Why, might you ask? Again, as I’ve mentioned in previous essays, GAM is obsessed with anything white. GAM will go out with 65-year-old white men or guys 450 pounds, or even both! As long as they are white, that is all that matters. Again, it is necessary to build up that empty vacuum of self-esteem that all GAM have. The only way to fill that empty vacuum is by being with a white guy.
So for any Chub reading this, let me assure you there is hope. Some cute guys will find you HOT! So if you are a huge man and a bit nervous about taking the plunge to meet new people, think about this.
In life, good things happen, and bad things happen. But if you do not take a chance, nothing happens.
Line straight out of Golden Girls!
I am an older Fat 65 y/o male white man who is Bi. I love to deep throat and most always swallow what my throat works up for me. But I am a Fat man 390 6’2 5.5 cut smooth no hair except a crew cut. I have made eye contact but never at a bathhouse. Would anyone pick me up if I were a fat man?
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No, you’re old and fat, and chances are, if you make eye contact you will be ignored or repudiated.
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shut the fuck up Kim, I’d pick you up Frank 😉
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oh yes i wud pik u up if u wer at a bath house!!
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Thank you for your candor. I am a Bi-sexual chub, (5’8″, 260 Pounds). I do go to the baths here in Vancouver, and have had some good times. It is frustrating that much of the gay community is so focused on looks. The baths are a place where I feel comfortable. There is one great gay bar on Davie Street that is really good,as well, but the baths are the place! BTW, I love Asian men!
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Love the story, as a chubby chaser myself I do have to say this, I have been with chubs of all races, yes Asian too, big woof to akiroho a Japanese sumo I met at the Northern in Queens new York, but I have fucked black, whites, brown, yellow chubs at the Northern.
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Very interesting perspective as a “chub” that has is passionate about Asian men. The thought of success at a bathhouse was far fetched. I must try it for myself. Any info relative to bathhouses frequented by Asians would be appreciated.
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I love chubby guys! Looking in Chicago
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Love chubs
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I am always attracted to Asian & Latin men but they don’t like me, I’m a white “bear” & they want the gym-toned “clones”, so I totally disagree with your findings. I have over 30 years of experience in men.
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Yes the “author” if we can all her that , is way off, and that thing about Asians filling up void and low self esteem is blatantly ignorant, stereotyping and racist. SMH ♂️
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Your story really touched me. I’m a big guy who has become increasingly stay-at-home because I don’t feel comfortable around younger, “proportional” guys. I had no idea that big guys had a chance at the baths. Your piece has given me the courage to take a chance.
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Interesting, well articulated comments about baths in general and cultural difference in particular. I’m a white guy and, though clean shaven, skew bear (5’9 220#) and I’ve def. noticed that I get a whiteness premium with cute guys of other ethnicities being into me.
For whatever reason I define “guys like me” not in terms of whiteness but in terms of above-optimum-weight-yet-athletic…that sort of look that suggests touch football AND maybe a little too much beer. And I’m all about the beefy Korean dude instead of the Abercrombie white dude (even over the Abercrombie Korean dude) but I realize this is a minority (sic) opinion. I also prefer listening to old jazz but I don’t see a lot of that on the charts either.
For whatever it’s worth on the being young and into Asian guys tip…for as long as I can remember being attracted to guys, I have been attracted to Asian American guys but not Asian-from-country-of-origin guys…call them Asian E.S.L. guys. This isn’t true for me with other groups…all things equal I’m just as interested in a Mexican guy from Mexico as I am in a Mexican guy who grew up in Seattle. So I don’t know what THAT means…I’m not interested in the shy/demure/bottom Asian guy, I want the “hey dude” Asian guy.
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Was wondering, do you know of a therapist in the L.A. area who is experienced with sexual preference issues, especially deeply embedded ones? You mentioned you saw a therapist. I’m a straight man who is addicted to gay porn (“chubby bear” stuff), and I compulsively masturbate to it. I’m reading a book called: “Healing The Shame That Binds You” by John Bradshaw to help heal the crap from my childhood (very abusive mother). So maybe part of the reason is not thinking I’m not good enough for attractive women, though I’ve had relationships and sex. Just looking for a tip. Or maybe communication on this. (I’m definitely not even bi – I’ve set up meetings through the internet, and it was awkward, because I had no attraction to the guy’s body, even good bodies). But I always wanted to talk to them.
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I am a GAM and love heavy senior like Rev.Jerry Falwell.Do you know what I mean? Do you know which bath house has lot a of fat old men in Atlanta, GA?
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Your stories are wonderful. I’m glad I came across your site!
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I love your page. how can u look for a gay bathhouse and does age matter. cause i gone to bath house but its not a gay one .later
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I like to fuck every bears and chubs
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Where r u from??? I am a gay xhub from Pakistan…
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It’s a shame you feel the way you do. What makes you think Asian guys and older gays can only get together with each other. If that is what happens at your bathhouse I surely would not go to that place again. i like Asian men because 99.9999% are much nicer and friendlier as a whole than most younger white guys and have a genuine liking for us as most of us do for them. please look for some other places that cater to Asian guys. And if at all possible please tell me the bath that has all the Asian guys (ha ha)
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Say hello to Malcolm for me… although, he likes 350.. and I’m only 265… and trust me… it makes a difference to him… even when you’re with a guy who you think will find you a ten… you wind up being a “7” sometimes… hehehe
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Hello, every day I read one chapter it is so good writing and make me feel good even if sorrow, to see that other seems this world in the same way. I’m 50years old and a bit chubby … you know thanks to your chubs links I’m beginning see this people sexy. I like to get older and discover new feelings, for instance here as you said , are very ignorant about Asian people even though and right now we have a lot of newcomers. Well last year I met someone from Hong Kong in a sex shop , formerly I was not interested at all about Asians, and since then I have been 3 times in south east Asia and next Oct. I fly to Vietnam to spend 16 days vacation. Many thanks for your work.
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It’s a great site, have only read a couple of stories but it’s book marked in my Favourites and as the big fellas says “I’ll be back”. Just wanted to say I think you have a marvellous site. I’ve only read 3 stories but will read a few more in the next half hour, before putting on the VCR for West Wing. We have 3 saunas in Sydney, and my favourite is Kens Karate Klub, called Kens, because it’s in the suburb of Kensington, just out of the CBD of Sydney. Your writing is excellent and very perceptive and I look forward to reading more. I must take issue with your statement about Asian men. I think Asian men are the sexiest men around, with smiles, usually short and stocky, impish, and full of fun. That may be stereotypical but that’s the way I find them. I’m 51, so could be called a boring old fart, but I had a fling a couple of years ago with an Asian lad of about 25, who cruised me in a bar. He was a photographer for the local gay newspaper, and we were both waiting for a drag show, which was running late as usual. Anyway, you don’t want to hear about that. Thanks for your writing, and I look forward to reading the rest of the page.
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I agree with the chubs and their chasers. I find it mysterious myself, being a chub, but there your are. There are young guys, handsome, great bodies, and virile seeking that cuddle-some, older chub, (like me, and I am only 47y, greying and balding; and only mod. chubby at 100kgs). Love to hear from younger guys wanting to meet with me.
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I have been to bath houses in San Francisco, Atlanta, Cleveland, Montreal, Toronto, Vancouver, Calgary, Winnipeg, Seattle, Dallas and Paris. They have ranged from dives to upscale. But I have enjoyed each and everyone of them for their own character. I love the casual nudity and the freedom. Sometimes I am being chased by studs all night and sometimes no one seems to notice me. I am just an average guy. What I do know is that if I go in with an attitude that nothing is going to happen that is generally what does happen. And sometimes I do, sometimes I just want to hang out naked chat and relax in the steam room. But I doubt you don’t get anywhere just because you are Asian. One of the nice things about the baths is that people are usually willing to try something they wouldn’t do at a bar. I personally am not usually attracted to Asian but would go for an Asian boy next door like you. In Vancouver there were many Asian guys all enjoying themselves with a variety of other men. Great stories, very insightful and enjoyable! Thanks for sharing!
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I have read about what you said, well I a Bearish (okay over-weight white guy) and I am ALWAYS being hit on by Asian men. I am only 38 and as you say you like white guys. well I like HAIRY men and most Asian men are smooth. So I am not in the market for again men but that is who hits on ME 90% of the time and I am not hairy at all, more peach-fuzzy. SO I can relate about Almost never getting anything at the baths. Better luck to you.
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Hi I’m Caffodian. i like big men eh?
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