The Bathhouse Lunch Special

The Bathhouse Lunch Special

Do you mean that you’ve never heard of the lunch special, the one costing $8.00? When I told my friend, he exclaimed, “Wow, where can I get lunch that cheap?” Well, men are hungry. But it is not the food they are craving. At that hour, men are looking for quickie sex.

Most bathhouses (including the one I go to) feature a special lunch-hour rate, Monday through Friday. From 11:30 AM to 1:30 PM, a gay man can cruise a bathhouse for only $8.00. On a typical day, the noon crowd will have businessmen, bike couriers, students, delivery men, mail carriers, stay-at-home dads, and cab drivers. At that hour, you can find every profession represented. I often think the baths could host a career seminar at noon—like a “Lunch and Learn”!

It would take me roughly half an hour by bus to travel from my workplace to the bathhouse. As a result, I cannot make baths a regular part of my day. But I do have days off, so I dropped by at lunchtime out of curiosity. You first notice the number of parked cars outside the baths. Just outside the building, there are so many different types of automobiles. You have BMWs, Volvos, Station Wagons, Taxis, and every delivery truck from UPS to Pepsi lined up in a neat row. Students and couriers take their “lunch break” at the baths, stacking the bike rack outside. Cab drivers can accomplish two tasks simultaneously. After an hour of cruising and getting a quick fix at the baths, some cabbies will leave the bathhouse and wait for a fare. Some executives are always in a hurry to return to work.

Inside the bathhouse, there is a certain familiarity. Many of these men have seen each other daily at the gay bathhouse lunch hour. You can’t help but overhear several different conversations at the same time. However, other lunchtime regulars do not initiate conversation, as they focus more on cruising to get laid. Some specifically seek out oral sex.

Many wives, girlfriends, and even fiancées don’t like giving blowjobs, as they find it gross. What should a man do if he doesn’t receive blowjobs at home? They go to the baths. Many straight men don’t view oral sex as cheating or sex. They see it as a way to get off.

Regardless of the sexual orientation of these fully dressed businessmen, they all have one thing in common. These men only want a quick blowjob before heading back to the office. By remaining dressed, with the exception of an open zipper, these men indicate their desire for oral sex. These businessmen get what they want within ten minutes. That is the ultimate quickie. Let’s face it, $8.00 is cheaper than getting a prostitute to do the deed!

During lunch hour, not just business people and students frequent the gay baths. Many gay men who rely on disability checks for income also visit the baths at noon. Being on “disability” can cover every disease, from living with chronic pain to severe depression. Due to the limited coverage of a disability check, engaging in social activities with other gay men can be costly. The lunchtime special at the baths is the exception. Although rates vary from sauna to sauna, the noon-hour special at my local bathhouse is $8.00. For that price, men on disability can escape from their problems for six hours, albeit temporarily. They can cruise, indulge in eye candy, and engage in sexual activities like everyone else.

Being on disability might sound like a fabulous permanent vacation. But trust me, it gets boring after a while. Throughout your entire life, your focus has been either on school or your career. Qualifying for disability benefits relieves you of a significant burden. However, you quickly come to the realization that the world is slipping away from you. Men with disabilities must find other ways to occupy their time since most of their friends work. As a result, the baths become a central part of their lives. The baths instill a sense of purpose in these disabled men. Most disabled men use the baths at the beginning or end of the month. Why? That’s when their check arrives in the mail.

As I observed all this, I wound up in the steam room next to another lunchtime regular. This guy works for the city, which has offices within walking distance of the Bathhouse. We talked for a few minutes, and I discovered why he goes to the baths daily at noon.

It is $8.00, cheaper than lunch in the cafeteria.
Getting off in the middle of the day is a fabulous stress reliever.
It is a wonderful way to interact with some gay men in the middle of the day, especially when surrounded by straight co-workers from morning to afternoon.

As I continued my walk around the hallways, I noticed that certain men liked to advertise their occupations. A bike courier, passing by one room, hung his bike gear (including the wheel) on the wall as a visual display. Delivery men would be walking around wearing only a towel. The only difference was the company cap they wore. The day I was there, I saw hats that said “Pepsi” and “UPS.”

As I left, I wistfully felt disappointed that I worked far away from the baths. The cost of lunch was $8.00. Where can you get a better bargain? If you have a job near a bathhouse, you should drop by for lunch one day. You never know who you might encounter.

Perhaps that adorable guy in accounting?