# Gay Bathhouse Blues > Your Guide To Bathhouses For Men ## Posts - [Gay Bathhouse Etiquette](https://bathhouseblues.com/gay-bathhouse-etiquette/): Gay Bathhouse Etiquette First and foremost, bathhouses are places for men to have sex. It serves as a sexual playground where men can indulge in their desires and engage in sexual activities around the clock, akin to a 24-hour convenience store. Come to think of it, the baths are like a supermarket. You can shop for whatever you are looking for. In a bathhouse, you can choose from Latinos to Twinks, Bears to Chubs, Asians to Blacks—whatever type of guy you are interested in, you will find. Far more than bars or clubs, the baths have something for everyone. There are… - [Why Gay Men Go To The Baths](https://bathhouseblues.com/why-gay-men-go-to-gay-baths/): Why Gay Men Go To The Baths All these bathhouse stories probably have you asking, “Why do I spend so much time at the gay baths?” That is a fair question. This essay will clarify why so many gay men (me included) spend so much time at a gay bathhouse. The bathhouse scene is a real society with its own rules, culture, and politics. No one has written about this unique world—until now. There is one thing the gay baths provide that no other gay establishment can offer: total acceptance. Let’s face it: the gay community is very segregated and superficial.… - [Racism Or Preference?](https://bathhouseblues.com/racism/): Racism Or Preference? The first two entries were to lay down a foundation for these stories. Right now, I’d like to tell you a bit about myself. Even though I am in my thirties, I still look a decade younger. People always ask me, “What are you taking in college?” or “Do you go to school?” when they meet me for the first time. I have this youthful, boyish face. Just last week, someone thought I was 23. It has gotten to the point that whenever someone asks me about my age, I usually reply, “Guess.” I have a short haircut… - [Open Relationships](https://bathhouseblues.com/open-relationships/): Open Relationships Any long-term gay relationship eventually needs a change. While a couple can love one another and cannot imagine a life without each other, the sex can get stale. In short, some couples feel the need to have new sexual experiences outside the relationship. They want to explore new avenues, go into uncharted territory, and experience something fresh. All gay relationships eventually progress to a new level. This level is an open relationship. All of us know what an open relationship is, but I’ll explain it for those who are new or recently out. As I mentioned, sex between two… - [Chubs and Chasers](https://bathhouseblues.com/chubs-chasers/): Chubs and Chasers Some gay men who go to the baths look for a specific type of guy that isn’t typically found in a bar, club, or even personals. Sometimes you must go to the baths to seek the man who fits your ideal type. Case in point, Malcolm, who is newly out and very hot. He is blond, has blue eyes, broad shoulders, and is tall with a firm muscular body. A grade school teacher by day, and at night he searches for his ideal husband. I met him by chance one day at the baths, and we started a… - [The Politics of Oral Sex](https://bathhouseblues.com/oral-sex/): The Politics of Oral Sex Oral sex is the most common sex act at the baths; you can see it everywhere. There is a significant amount of oral sex taking place in the whirlpool, shower area, and lounge. It is so commonplace that it seems to be a prerequisite to be a gay man—that you must participate in oral sex. When people think of oral sex, most envision this personal, intimate bonding experience between two people who genuinely care for each other. You have the opportunity to fully give yourself to another person. However, gay men need to break free from… - [Been There Done That](https://bathhouseblues.com/done/): Been There Done That Being a bathhouse regular, you repeatedly meet and see some of the same guys over and over again. With some men, you can be friendly. With others, you can acknowledge and give a nod or a sign of recognition. Then there are those you ignore. Being ignored by other men is the way bathhouses are. If you can’t take that level of rejection, then don’t go. But what happens when you have slept with someone once at the baths, and then you run into him weeks later? Do you pick up where you have left off? Do… - [Voyeurism](https://bathhouseblues.com/voyeurism/): Voyeurism Men go to the baths because of a need to connect with another person. (Read Making The Connection) However, some men go for an entirely different reason. They go because they want to be a voyeur. Where else can you see naked bodies walking around 24-7 in the winter? Seeing all that eye candy is just another added perk to bathhouse life. The voyeur aspect kicks in when two men get together for sex – all in front of a live audience. In a bathhouse, a customer can get a room or a locker. Men who decide to purchase a… - [Judging A Book By Its Cover](https://bathhouseblues.com/judging-book/): Judging A Book By Its Cover Just recently, I was waiting for public transit. Then I saw this guy. He was six feet tall, with sandy brown hair, a narrow nose, clean-shaven and clean-cut. He wore pressed jeans, a gray pullover, Dock Martins, and a varsity-type jacket. My guess is he was thirty. He had a bag flung over his shoulder and wore no jewelry. He looked like the typical boy next door. I usually don’t pay much attention to guys like that in public. But something turned my head. He was reading Advocate. My gaydar is not the greatest, so… - [Christmas @ The Baths](https://bathhouseblues.com/christmas/): Christmas @ The Baths One of the unique aspects of a bathhouse is the hours. You can go at any time, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The baths are even open during the holidays. As a veteran of the tubs, I have gone on Thanksgiving, Mother’s Day, Easter Sunday, and Xmas Day. Yes, as strange as it sounds, the baths attract a minority of men on Christmas Day. You must be reading this, thinking, “Being at the baths on Christmas, how pathetic. It must be truly depressing.” Well, yes and no. Let’s start on Christmas Eve. It is… - [The HIV Experience](https://bathhouseblues.com/hiv/): The HIV Experience After over twenty years at the baths, I’ve educated myself on the boundaries of safe sex and sexually transmitted infections, in particular, HIV and AIDS. I have two close friends who live with the virus. Both have been living with this disease for over a decade. I am aware that this is a cliché, but it is important to remember that for each man with whom you engage in sexual intercourse, you are also engaging in sexual intercourse with his previous sexual partners. Many men with HIV do not disclose this information to a prospective hookup, especially in… - [The Price of Admission](https://bathhouseblues.com/price-admission/): The Price of Admission So let me ask you a question. What can $25.00 buy you right now? The novel for the next book club? Some groceries? Your weekly packs of cigarettes? For me, $25.00 is the price to rent a room for eight hours at the baths. Regarding the baths, I have lost all perspective on how I have forfeited my money over the years. I have spent at least three times weekly at the baths for the past ten years. If you multiply the $25.00 I spend per visit by 3 (three times a week), you come up with… - [Rice Queens](https://bathhouseblues.com/rice-queens/): Rice Queens A while back, I found the baths deserted. The only customers were me, a young, tall white guy, and this other white guy I’d seen on and off at the tubs. The latter man seemed mentally disabled. He had clumps of hair on his head, thick wire-frame glasses, and a body like a string bean. He appeared right out of Revenge of the Nerds. The only difference was that he was pushing forty. The tall white guy seemed horny and needed to get off. Who do you think he picked? That’s right; he chose the mentally disabled white guy.… - [Gay Porn](https://bathhouseblues.com/porn/): Gay Porn The one thing constant in most bathhouses across North America (other than all the available sex) is that each establishment has a room designated for viewing gay porn during the lull moments at the bath. The typical porn room features a TV with couches or chairs for men to sit on. As I mentioned in previous stories, the porn room can feature some hot action from time to time, and I am not talking about what is on-screen but what is happening off-screen! Anything can happen when a bunch of guys sit around watching porn. There are no absolutes… - [The Bathhouse Lunch Special](https://bathhouseblues.com/lunch-special/): The Bathhouse Lunch Special Do you mean that you’ve never heard of the lunch special, the one costing $8.00? When I told my friend, he exclaimed, “Wow, where can I get lunch that cheap?” Well, men are hungry. But it is not the food they are craving. At that hour, men are looking for quickie sex. Most bathhouses (including the one I go to) feature a special lunch-hour rate, Monday through Friday. From 11:30 AM to 1:30 PM, a gay man can cruise a bathhouse for only $8.00. On a typical day, the noon crowd will have businessmen, bike couriers, students,… - [When Desperation Sinks In](https://bathhouseblues.com/desperation/): When Desperation Sinks In Many men have different reasons for going to a bathhouse. While most men go for easy and quick sex, a few go for different reasons. You may be one of those men who go to relax, unwind, and escape from the world. However, after an hour or so at the baths, something happens to a man’s body – they get horny. You may start just wanting relaxation with the attitude of, “If it’s meant to be, it will come to me.” But after a few hours of seeing naked bodies and public sex, you get horny as… - [Accessories](https://bathhouseblues.com/accessories/): Accessories You would think the only thing coming between you and a hot guy at the baths would be the towels both of you are wearing. However, you will often see guys wearing more than just their towels to get extra attention, known as accessorizing. At the baths, you want to impress other guys with your accessories. Standing out amongst the crowd sends a specific signal to other guys. Conversely, you might choose to accessorize for comfort. Whatever the reason, if you regularly visit the baths, it is always beneficial to come prepared with a few items. Here are the most… - [Sex In The Dark Room](https://bathhouseblues.com/dark-room-sex/): Sex In The Dark Room Every time I go to the gay baths, I always hope to meet someone I can connect with physically and mentally, even if it is just for a few hours. But after years of going to the baths, I realize I am in the minority. Most guys want a quickie, and the more, the better. I cannot do quickies, although it is a way of life for most gay men. As I mentioned in a previous essay, many guys do not want to give themselves totally to another person in a bathhouse. Men want to save… - [Tricks of the Trade](https://bathhouseblues.com/turn-tricks/): Tricks of the Trade The minute I saw him, I knew his motives. He had blond hair, blue eyes, and a gorgeous physique. I would assume he is in his mid-twenties. He was not completely naked, unlike the rest of us cruising through the baths. However, he was shirtless, wearing his pants just loose enough to show the top of his briefs. So, what type of guy do you think I am describing? If you said hustler, you’d be right. He was semi-dressed, which was the giveaway. If he were a regular customer, he would have stripped off his clothes like… - [The Out of Towners](https://bathhouseblues.com/towners/): The Out of Towners Every three-day weekend brings a steady stream of out-of-town visitors through the baths’ doors. Whether it is Labor Day weekend or Easter, it is still the same for tourists who are gay (singles or couples). The trip would not be complete without visiting the local gay baths. Here is a statistic: some guys will stay at the baths for the entire weekend. Think about it; renting a room, even for a whole day, is much cheaper than a hotel. These men, who come and stay for the long weekend, are typically from small rural areas surrounding the… - [Straight & Bi Married Men At The Gay Baths](https://bathhouseblues.com/married-men/): Straight & Bi Married Men At the baths, watching men cruise each other for a hookup is enjoyable to observe. One of my favorite pastimes is sitting in one of the busiest hallways, seeing all the men pass me by, and focusing on their left hands. Why? I like to see how many wedding rings I can pick out. My record was to count 20 wedding rings in a single night. But since same-sex marriage is now legal, this little game I play no longer applies! Married men can freely express themselves in the baths without fear of detection. As previously… - [Pride Day At The Gay Baths](https://bathhouseblues.com/pride-day/): Pride Day At The Gay Baths For any gay man, summer is a reason for celebration. Not only is the weather warm and beautiful, but it is also when most North American cities host their Pride Day festivities. We have made significant progress. Since Pride Day generally falls on a Sunday, many in the gay community take the preceding Thursday and Friday off work. That way, men can devote four days to enjoying the festivities leading up to the big Pride Day parade. If you want to know who is gay in your office, look around to see who works Thursday… - [Prime Timers](https://bathhouseblues.com/prime-timers/): Prime Timers Gay baths consistently attract this specific type of person. It doesn’t matter whether it’s day or night, raining or snowing, or if there are a hundred or a handful of guys present. This specific type is consistently present in the tubs. What “type” am I describing? I am referring to any person over 65 who bears a resemblance to a grandfather. In this essay, I refer to them as “The Prime Timers.” I refuse to use a particular six-letter word that begins with the letter “T.” Before I start getting hate mail from the Prime Timers, let me say… - [Quickies](https://bathhouseblues.com/quickies/): Quickies One thing synonymous with a bathhouse is quickie sex, which takes place on an hourly basis. You would think that gay men would want to spend as much time as possible enjoying sex. However, many guys have told me that they prefer quickies because they are exactly that: They are concise and direct. There is no intimacy, no getting to know the other person, or any type of emotional bonding. Guys would rather save those feelings of pure lovemaking for someone they genuinely like. That is one of the reasons why many men do not purchase a room when they… - [Real Men Cuddle](https://bathhouseblues.com/real-men-cuddle/): Real Men Cuddle When you visit the gay baths, it is important to remember that this is not a venue for niceties. It’s not the place to find a boyfriend. It’s an arena for quick and anonymous sex, which is why men go to the baths. The more times guys can have sex and get laid, the better. So don’t expect to find someone tender, loving, and compassionate. This is because most men who are at the baths tend to get up and walk out after the sex is finished. He leaves without even acknowledgment. These men are already thinking about… - [My Tenth Anniversary](https://bathhouseblues.com/tenth-anniversary/): My Tenth Anniversary It occurred to me that I will be celebrating ten years of going to the baths – my tenth anniversary this month. Wow, I cannot believe it. The past ten years have flown by. At age 31, I realized that I would have spent one-third of my life walking the halls of a bathhouse. That is longer than being in high school and university combined. That is longer than some of the jobs I have had. Ten years is longer than some relationships. Just think, a ten-year-old is running around somewhere. That is how long I have been… - [Eye Contact](https://bathhouseblues.com/eye-contact/): Eye Contact As you stroll down the street, the eye of a man catches yours. You don’t pause to continue the gaze with a nod and a friendly smile; instead, you keep walking. While grocery shopping, your eyes meet another guy’s briefly before you look away. At the gym, there were so many guys with so many eyes. However, you either keep your head down or look directly past everyone, thereby avoiding eye contact. Whether intentional or not, eye contact is a natural occurrence for every gay man out there. However, eye contact often triggers a superficial thought that many gay… - [Drug Use @ The Baths: Part 1](https://bathhouseblues.com/drug-use-bathhouse-1/): Drug Use @ The Baths: Part 1 The following is a true story. The customer in Room 3-1-6 was late—on real overtime! He checked in around 8 PM the previous night, and now Noon was approaching, just in time for the lunch special. Generally, there is a grace period for customers who run overtime for an hour or so. However, the occupant of Room 3-1-6 had been in that room for 16 hours, four of which were overtime, as he rented a 12-hour room. The desk attendant repeatedly announced via the loudspeaker that Room 3-1-6 was on overtime. So he should… - [Drug Use @ The Baths: Part 2](https://bathhouseblues.com/drug-use-bathhouse-2/): Drug Use @ The Baths: Part 2 The prevalence of drug use among gay men continues to amaze me. Many of these men can function, hold a job, and maintain relationships with others. Simultaneously, the individual is ingesting drugs all day long. They do not use marijuana or poppers. They consume hardcore drugs like GHB, Special K, speed, and even magic mushrooms. Drug use now seems to be the norm in mainstream gay culture. Certain gay elitist circles accept it and even consider it fashionable. While some men can handle these drugs, an equal number of gay men cannot. Inevitably, these… - [Making The Connection](https://bathhouseblues.com/making-connection/): Making The Connection For men who go to the baths, it is not just about sex. It’s about making a connection—the desire for gay men to connect with other gay men. Why is there this need to make a connection with someone? One word: loneliness, or rather, a subconscious feeling of isolation. Despite the strides and advances made by gays and lesbians in mainstream society, it still feels isolating to be “gay” in the gay community. Many men feel they don’t fit in. Having a lower status in the gay community exacerbates the situation. Gay men regularly criticize their peers, whom… - [Body Vs Race](https://bathhouseblues.com/body-vs-race/): Body Vs Race Why is it that the gay community considers very young and bone-thin Gay White Men Abercrombie and Fitch? However, gay Asians who have a similar body type are often viewed as undesirable and worthless. White European-type men are the primary attraction for gay men in America. Ironically, European men are generally more receptive to different races than American men are. That is because, in Europe, people are far more open-minded to different cultures and ethnicities. There is a diverse cultural upbringing and mindset in Europe, as evidenced by the prevalence of interracial couples on the street. However, American… - [Bathhouse Drunks](https://bathhouseblues.com/gay-bathhouse-drunks/): Bathhouse Drunks As you’ve read in my essays, the majority of men visit the baths as a means of attracting attention or establishing social connections. Some men visit the baths because they are among the loneliest individuals on the planet. These are truly lost souls. There are many, and I am one of them. We are not victims but individuals who are damaged goods. The situation is not surprising considering the cards society has dealt gay men. I will respond to my issues a bit later. I go to the baths primarily for social interaction and the hope of finding casual,… - [Sex With Clothes On](https://bathhouseblues.com/sex-clothes/): Sex With Clothes On While many gay men love gay baths, there are just as many men who are scared of the tubs. Those who have never been to a bathhouse are unsure about what lies on the other side, as it can be intimidating to venture into the unknown. The most frequent question I receive is: Can I go to the baths as a voyeur? Can I visit the baths as an observer without fear of being cruised? The answer is yes, and here is how to do it. Remain fully clothed. No rule exists at the baths that says… - [Being Homeless At The Gay Baths](https://bathhouseblues.com/homeless/): Being Homeless At The Gay Baths The weather has been crazy, and those who dismiss global warming as a myth are clearly in denial. The past couple of days have been below minus 10. We have gone from one extreme (a hot drought in the summer) to the other (frost in the winter). This cold weather has gotten me thinking about the homeless. Because of those zero-degree temperatures, homeless men routinely check into the baths for shelter. We are all just a few paychecks away from becoming homeless. We are all susceptible to finding ourselves waiting in line at a food… - [Looking To Get Laid @ The Baths](https://bathhouseblues.com/get-laid-gay-baths/): Looking To Get Laid At The Gay Baths. The number one reason guys go to the baths is to have sex; that concept hasn’t changed. What has changed is the intensity and drive for sex. These men want an ass to fuck, or they want their hole plugged—period. These men have a genuine obsession with fucking, whether it’s giving or receiving. They do not engage in foreplay, oral sex, or kissing. Drop your drawers, spread your legs, and let’s get this humping started. Of course, the advent of the Internet has made hunting much more accessible. Or has it? There is… - [Sex Standing Up At The Gay Baths](https://bathhouseblues.com/sex-standing-gay-baths/): Sex Standing Up At The Gay Baths If you want to be a regular patron at the baths, you must master one sexual activity in order to be a bathhouse pro. No, I’m not talking about being an experienced top or an oral expert. You need to know how to have sex while standing. When you think of having sex, you think of this activity as horizontal, not vertical. However, this is not the case at the baths. This is primarily due to gay men’s lack of interest in spending quality time. Nope, they want it fast, quick, and as many… - [Barefoot Essentials](https://bathhouseblues.com/barefoot-essentials-gay-baths/): Barefoot Essentials Let’s face it, you don’t need much at the baths to make an impression. You are just exhibiting the bare essentials—your nakedness wrapped in a towel. However, there is an old saying that says clothes make a man. You wouldn’t think that statement would hold up in a bathhouse while wearing only a towel. Well, you’re mistaken. Other than your towel, footwear is the only other clothing item men wear at the baths with any regularity. Over the years, I have seen every imaginable type of shoe worn by men at the tubs—sandals, running shoes, flip-flops, socks, and even… - [The 24 Hour Day](https://bathhouseblues.com/24-hour-day/): The 24 Hour Day The 24-Hour Day People keep asking me when the best time is to go to the baths. The problem is that there is no clear-cut answer; there are different times when different things happen, with different crowds. Right now, let me guide you on a 24-hour day in an average bathhouse. 8 AM to 12 PM. 8 a.m. is typically when a staff change takes place. Because the baths operate 24/7, a crew works around the clock. One team works from 8 AM to 4 PM. The second group works from 4 PM to midnight. Then there… ## Pages - [Disclaimer & Copyright](https://bathhouseblues.com/disclaimer-copyright/): Disclaimer This site contains external web site links to other sites. Bathhouse Blues (Bathhouse Diaries) is not responsible or has any control over the privacy practices or the content of these other sites or their associated companies and partners. By clicking on any other buttons or links on this site you are representing that you are at least 18 years of age. Disclaimer The models featured on Bathhouse Blues have no affiliation with Bathhouse Blues in any way whatsoever. Bathhouse Blues claims no credit for any images featured on this site unless otherwise noted. All visual content is copyright to its… - [Gay Bathhouse Books](https://bathhouseblues.com/gay-bathhouse-books/): Bathhouse Blues Support This Site & Buy The Book Now! This is the only book to explore the culture and community feeling of the gay baths. It is written from the perspective of a Gay Asian male that has spent over 20 years walking the hallways of gay bathhouses. For anyone unfamiliar with gay bathhouse etiquette, this read will give you a front row seat on what takes place behind closes doors. No Asians Please Support This Site & Buy The Book Now! This book explores how Asian men are perceived and marginalized in a segregated gay population. It is an… - [Gay White & Gay Asian Men Speak Out!](https://bathhouseblues.com/gwm-gam/): Recently at the baths I ran into Malcolm (read Chubs and Chasers). He was with another chub and they were relaxing in the hot tub after another sex session. I lamented to Malcolm about the lack of guys (of any race) that are interested in Gay Asian Men. Malcolm listened in sympathy and suggested I look for guys on one of those websites where men look for casual sex. With nothing else to lose, I decided to go on-line. I used the search tool and typed in "Looking for Gay Asian Men". I only came up with only one ad, and… - [Boiling Rice: Part 2](https://bathhouseblues.com/boiling-rice-2/): Gay Asians confront widespread prejudice in the nightclub scene (aka “Boiling Rice”) By David Noh, New York Blade News, January 10, 2003 New to L.A. and wanna know where I can go clubbing without being harassed by tons of creepy Asians. I went to the Factory and that's all there were. Which is cool, do yr thing, but its not my thing. I am into white/latin/mideast men, i.e., eyelids and real noses. Plz advise. The above message, posted on a popular circuit party website, is indicative of an undiscussed, but disturbingly prevalent racist attitude in the gay community. Ironically, white friends… - [Boiling Rice: Part 1](https://bathhouseblues.com/boiling-rice/): This is a fascinating article. "Boiling Rice" talks about the un-discussed, but disturbingly prevalent racist attitude against Gay Asian Men in the gay community. Click link to read - Boiling Rice Of course, this website has been talking about this subject for years. Below are comments about the story "Boiling Rice", taken from a discussion board. Because most discussion forums are anonymous, gay men feel free to write or say whatever they want. No worries about political correctness on the Internet. The following comments seems very indicative about how Gay Men REALLY view Gay Asian Men in the gay community. 12:35AM… - [White Men Preferred](https://bathhouseblues.com/white-men-preferred/): Recently while surfing the web, I came across this letter on a gay discussion forum. The author wrote about posting a companion ad, and about how irritated he got when visible minorities responded. He states unapologetically that he prefers his own race, white men only. And no other race would do. The author also wrote how offended he got when callers would call him a racist. He feels that he is not a racist, but that he just has a certain preference. I was intrigued that someone would be so bold as to post a statement like that, which is not… - [The Truth About Gay Asian Men](https://bathhouseblues.com/truth-about-gay-asian-men/): The lack of interest that White Men have in Asian Men and of how even Asian men shun each other By Jason Chang, aMagazine, February/March 2001 "Are you sticky?" It was a hot summer evening in Boston almost a decade ago, and I was one of only two Asian men in a crowded, predominantly white gay club. The other guy in the room had been smiling at me all evening and finally came up to make small talk. I was trying to politely convey my lack of interest in him when he asked that strange question. "Well, yeah," I replied. "It's… - [About Me](https://bathhouseblues.com/about-me/): About Me Welcome. I am a gay Asian male, and I have written a gay bathhouse blog called Bathhouse Blues. These are my experiences and observations in a gay bathhouse setting for over 20 years. This site represents the best and most educational stories on bathhouse culture. Bit of background. Since I was 21 years old, I have visited the baths for over twenty years. Usually, once a week. Sometimes two or three times a week. I have gone at all hours – morning, noon, night, or very late at night. Through those visits, I have met some of the most… - [Reviews](https://bathhouseblues.com/reviews/): I stumbled across this site and thought it was so interesting that it was definitely in need of a mention here. Yes, bathhouse blog! How inventive is that! Perhaps there are a thousand of them out there and I'm the ignorant novice yet to be reading one, but what a novel concept! This particular man swears that his stories are true (not sure if I care if they are true or not, as they are still an interesting read), but doesn't give us much in the way of details about himself or his location, etc. Again, this is okay; it's the… ## Optional - [Agent (MCP protocol)](websites-agents.hostinger.com/bathhouseblues.com/mcp) [comment]: # (Generated by Hostinger Tools Plugin)